Meaningful Appreciations

Appreciations matter.  They influence the strength of our relationships and the results we achieve in our workplace.  According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the number one reason people leave their jobs is because they “do not feel appreciated.”  In a number of polls, 65% of Americans report receiving no recognition during the past year at their work.

Personal relationships are also affected by the absence of appreciations.  Between 40% and 60% of marriages will eventually end in divorce.  Certainly a lack of appreciation is not the only reason people divorce, but it’s likely a strong contributing factor.  Expressions of appreciation help us to know that we matter to our coworkers, family, and friends.

Even those who recognize the value of appreciating others may not offer expressions of appreciation frequently.  We are often pleased with the behavior or characteristics of another person but don’t necessarily know what to say or how to demonstrate our appreciation.

Appreciations and acknowledgments that have the most impact make a connection between the behavior of the other person and the impact that behavior has on you.  We all like to know that what we do or who we are makes a difference.

“Thank you for listening to me.  You ask great clarifying questions that help me gain new insights. I now understand the situation and have a clear direction.”

“It is very easy for me to talk with you.  I feel like I have your full attention.  Because you focus on what I am saying, I feel that you care about what I have to say.”

Appreciations that have the most meaning are about specific behavior.  What exactly are you appreciating?  Details increase the impact and let the recipient know clearly what you are appreciating.

“I used your suggestion of staying focused on the goal I wanted to achieve for the meeting, and it worked beautifully.  We accomplished exactly what I had wanted.  Your recommendation was so very helpful to me.  Thank you.”

“I can always count on you to follow through on the commitments you make.  It means so much to me that I can trust you to produce quality work that gets done within our deadline.”

“Your smile is so welcoming.  I always enjoy walking through the door to see your warm welcome.”

When you communicate what you appreciate, you are also communicating what you value. “I appreciate that you arrive promptly to our meetings. Your punctuality helps me to know I can count on you and allows me to be efficient with my time.”  If punctuality were not one of your values, you most likely would not comment on this attribute.  When you share what you appreciate, you very well may see that the characteristics and behaviors you acknowledge occur more frequently.

A simple “thank you” may be preferable to none at all, but it often leaves the recipient of the message wondering what they are being thanked for and whether or not their contribution has really been noticed.  Some people question the sincerity of a vague, non-descript message and would prefer not to hear a cursory “thanks”.

Meaningful appreciations don’t take a lot of time.  Words of appreciation typically can be spoken in less than 30 seconds.  However, the value and impact of hearing words of appreciation can be huge and long-lasting.

If you are unsure of what you’d like to say, you might write out your thoughts first.  See if what’s on paper conveys what you want to communicate.  Communicating both what happened (the person’s behavior) and the impact (on you or the organization) is most meaningful.

Who will you appreciate today?  I suspect someone would love to know that they’ve made a difference to you.

I’d love to hear your stories about appreciating someone or being appreciated.  Please share via email or in the box in the comments section on the Moving Messages website.

• Share on Facebook.
• Share on Twitter.
• Share on Google+
• Share on LinkedIn
• Share on StumbleUpon