The Benefits of Being Present

Giving your full presence and undivided focus to the people in your life is a gift that benefits both you and the recipient.  When we are fully and completely present in moments we share with others, we are genuinely communicating: “I’m interested in you – you matter to me.” Being present has many benefits, including strengthened, trusting relationships, helping others to feel important, and opening yourself up to learning something valuable from others.

We all have examples in our lives where we have felt unimportant – when someone showed up late to a meeting – or didn’t show at all, when someone checked their smart phone while sitting across from us, or when someone seemed distracted and not engaged with what we were saying.  Those interactions don’t feel great.

Contrast those situations with times when others were fully engaged in what we had to say or what we were doing.  Those conversations and interactions tend to be empowering and that feeling can stay with us for a long time.  When people give us their full attention, we tend to feel valued and to have that wonderful feeling of truly being heard and seen.

We live in a fast-paced world.  Our minds are sometimes consumed with multiple thoughts at any given time and it’s easy to become distracted.  We have conflicting priorities in our work, social, and family lives.  It can be challenging to keep ourselves present and in the moment. However, when we recognize the benefits of being present – stronger relationships, building trust, empowering others, and gaining insights – we realize the value of being present.

Some benefits of being present:

1. Stronger relationships
   Business is all about relationships both within our organizations and outside of them.  If we want those who work for us and with us to contribute fully, it’s in our best interest to bring out the best in them.  We all respond to people who take a genuine interest in us.  Make sure those who work with and for you know that they matter to you.
2. Building trust
   You build trust when you take the time to really listen and gain understanding, demonstrate care and thoughtfulness, and follow through on the commitments you make.  Being there, being present, being focused demonstrate authenticity.  People who demonstrate authenticity build trust and respect.
3. Empowering others
   When we know that we matter, when someone takes the time to truly see us, we gain the confidence to be our best selves, to take risks, to engage fully.
4. Loyal, dedicated, engaged employees
   Individuals who are treated well by another person increase their loyalty to that person.  They’ll want to do their best for someone who takes the time to demonstrate a caring attitude.
5. Gain insight.
   When we listen to another person – really listen – we tend to gain a new understanding.  We learn new things.

What can we do to become present in the moment?  The answer lies in our commitment.

If you recognize that being present has value for you and others, make it a commitment to be present.  Recognize that what we do is a choice.  We can choose to be present. If/when you find your attention wandering, remind yourself of your commitment and bring yourself back into the moment.

Tips for being present:

1. Listen – really listen.
   Draw the other person out.  Ask questions.  Make eye contact.  Stay completely focused on the conversation in front of you.  Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and gain understanding for their views and opinions. Let the other person know what you understand them to say so they can confirm or clarify their point.
2. Take Interest.
   We show we care and are interested in many different ways – through being thoughtful and considerate, by being empathetic, by taking the time to get to know other people, by spending time together, and by asking questions.  When we take the time to express our interest, we increase another person’s sense of belonging and we may very well learn something of value, too.  Expressing interest in the person is a genuine way to let another person know you are engaged with them – their strengths and interests, their life.  Be curious.  Be open. You very well may learn something.  Leaders are very busy people, but a leader who takes the time to walk around the office and engage with employees will earn dividends.  This one step can make a huge difference in how people feel about working with you.
3. Follow up on commitments.
   When we make commitments (establish meeting dates and times, report due dates, etc.), we are essentially making a promise that we will deliver.  When we don’t, it’s natural for the other person to conclude that they are not as high a priority as what we chose to do instead.  Everyone has conflicting priorities from time to time.  How you handle these conflicts and how accountable you are for meeting your commitments will impact how others see you.

How wonderful our work places would be if we worked with leaders who were present and focused and who demonstrated that they care about us and our well-being.  There’s no greater gift than to be seen, heard, and valued by others.  We all want to know that we matter.  What will you do to become present in the moment at work, at home, in your social and family life this week, right now?

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