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Developing an Attitude of Gratitude
There are tremendous benefits to giving appreciations. Our relationships would almost certainly be stronger if we shared what we appreciate about each other more frequently. So why don’t we?
The key to offering sincere appreciations is to feel gratitude. We become grateful by paying attention to and focusing on what’s good in our lives. Many of us get so busy solving problems, dealing with deadlines, and maintaining the status quo that we don’t pay attention to what is special and good right around us. We focus so intently on the challenges in our day-to-day lives that we often miss noticing the wonderful people and things around us.
While we recognize the importance of appreciating others, we may tell ourselves, “I’m too busy.” But we choose where we allocate our attention and energy. We can choose to spend more time paying attention to the things we’re grateful for. That change in focus can be enlightening and powerful.
How do we develop an attitude of gratitude? We begin by being aware. We watch for things that we appreciate. We can all pay attention to the people in our lives (at work and in our personal lives) who do things that add value to us. You might feel relief and satisfaction that a project was completed successfully, or you might be energized by an enlightening conversation with a friend or co-worker, delighted by an exceptional meal, or amused by a funny remark. None of those things happened by magic. Other people were involved.
Pay attention to people who offer support and help to you or make your life easier, and people whose company you enjoy. Observe what just happened when you feel a smile on your face. Any new skill or habit starts by gaining awareness. Being grateful can become a habit. Developing an attitude of gratitude can be a very rewarding and beneficial habit.
There may also be people in your life who you find challenging. When you think of those people, I bet most of your energy goes to thinking about what’s not working. What would happen if you re-focused your thoughts to what is working or what qualities and characteristics you do appreciate about the person? I suspect you could find something. It may be that the “difficult” employee is tenacious. That’s not such a bad quality if you want people who are loyal and work hard for results. It might be useful to think about the qualities that person has that are of benefit to you or even how the challenging quality has benefits.
Even amidst hardship, tragedy, and challenges, there are reasons to be grateful. The opportunities for gratitude are often overlooked in challenging situations. Looking for those opportunities, even in the most difficult circumstances, can help us find new ways of looking at things and can help to strengthen relationships.
Gratitude helps you to grow and expand;
gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and
into the lives of all those around you.
— Eileen CaddyIt’s hard to express words of appreciation authentically without truly having the feeling of gratitude. What and who are you grateful for?
4 Responses so far.
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Moving Messages Blog
My goal is to inspire you to appreciate the people in your life who make a difference to you.
I’d be delighted if you are touched by reading stories of how being appreciated or giving an appreciation has impacted someone.
I’d love to hear your stories about when you were moved by an appreciation given to you or by one you gave to another person.
My vision is a world where all people feel they belong and that they are valued and heard. We can make a difference by recognizing, acknowledging and appreciating the people in our lives who impact us. 
Spread the power of appreciation!
Recent Blog Posts
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- The Importance of Appreciation in the Workplace (and beyond)
- Overcoming Reluctance to Express Appreciation
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Margy,
Okay, tangent over. Again, thank you for another week of food for thought. Happy election day!
Another great post! I like how you illustrated both sides of the gratitude spectrum and showed how even challenges offer opportunity. I recently took a class about differences amid coworker personalities. The teacher believed every personality — even the most curmudgeonly folk among us — can offer something to a group. The trick is being willing to sympathize with that person and consider how their personality functions as a whole, both personally and professionally. Few people aim to be horrible people, their big-picture makeup might just make them anxious, controlling, etc.
Good point! I find it useful to develop an attitude of curiosity around people that I find challenging. I wonder what they’re trying to accomplish. Once I understand, it’s easier for me to communicate with them. I have a comment about “horrible people”. I don’t believe people are “good” or “bad”. I do think people make questionable choices at times where behavior may be appropriate or not, but we can/they can fix inappropriate behavior. It’s tough to think of the whole person as horrible. Just a thought….
Thanks so much for reading my blog and sharing your thoughts. I greatly appreciate it. Your responsiveness is a wonderful form of validation. Thank you!
It is easy to find gratitude in the “nice” things. As you point out, there is a great gift in every challenge we face. I often have a more difficult time being grateful at these times… although time does help, your suggestion of awareness is the elixir. I’m working on it.
Keep up the great work Margy
steve
Thanks so much for your comment, Steve. It sometimes helps me get through those difficult times by keeping in mind that new opportunities may present themselves after a door has closed or when I face challenging times. When I develop a sense of curiosity to what may come, I become more open to possibilities. I appreciate your sharing.