The Many Benefits of Appreciations

Take a moment to think of a time when you received an appreciation that really mattered to you.  I suspect you were touched – maybe even deeply touched, and grateful that the other person really “got” you.  There is a wonderful feeling one gets from receiving a genuine appreciation.

In addition to immediate positive feelings, there are tremendous long-term benefits to being appreciated.  Research on the effects of appreciation concludes that being appreciated affects our self-esteem, impacts whether or not marriages last, and influences the engagement and productivity of employees in the workplace.

Children and adults develop positive self images when they receive positive messages about themselves and the impact they have.  In The Seven Challenges Workbook, a Guide to Cooperative Communication Skills for Success at Home and at Work, Dennis Rivers refers to the child development research of Betty Hart and Todd Risley, who found that “children who are the most intelligent, self-confident and flexible… had received five times more positive than negative interchanges”.  We internalize the messages we hear.  When we hear positive messages and have positive interactions, we tend to gain an appreciation for ourselves.

Recent discoveries suggest that positive emotions not only affect self esteem.  Through words and expressions of appreciation we recognize our value and that we matter.  We gain positive emotions.  According to some studies (noted in How Full is Your Bucket by Tom Rath & Donald Clifton), “not only do they (positive emotions) improve physical and mental health, but [they] provide a buffer against depression and illness”.  Our positive emotions come from how we view ourselves.  We derive our thoughts about ourselves, in part, from our perceptions of our interactions with other people.

 “Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival,
to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.”
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

Messages of appreciation affect the longevity of marriages and relationships as well.  John Gottman’s research on marriages (from John Gottman’s book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail) concluded that the “magic ratio” of 5 to 1 (balance of positive to negative interactions) determined whether or not a couple would stay together.  Successful and healthy relationships thrive when both parties have at their core a mutual appreciation for one another.  The University of Washington supports this research as well.  UW’s research (through Gottman’s Family Research Laboratory) claims that “positive interactions” are key to good marriages.

Research about the workplace environment draws similar conclusions about employee engagement and the importance and value of appreciating people.  A recent study (noted in Gary Tomlison’s report on How Full is Your Bucket) found that workgroups with positive to negative interaction ratios greater than 3 to 1 are significantly more productive.

In his book, Bringing Out the Best in People, Aubrey Daniels concludes that “recognition and appreciation are the most powerful motivators of improved performance”.  He states that, “Building a successful business means most of all bringing out the best in people – only people-oriented positive reinforcement in the form of appreciation, recognition and gratitude can do that.”

A worldwide study by Towers Watson concluded that “the single highest determinant for engagement is whether or not employees feel that their manager is genuinely interested in their well being”.

In his report on How Full is Your Bucket by Tom Rath & Donald Clifton, Ph.D., Gary Tomlinson sites multiple studies showing that individuals who receive regular recognition and praise increase their individual productivity, increase engagement among colleagues, are more likely to stay with the organization, and receive higher loyalty and satisfaction scores from customers.  Other studies demonstrate that leaders who share positive emotions have workgroups with more positive mood, job satisfaction, greater engagement, and improved group performance.

In his blog on Why Appreciation Matters So Much, Tony Schwartz writes, “Whatever else each of us derives from our work, there may be nothing more precious than the feeling that we truly matter — that we contribute unique value to the whole, and that we’re recognized for it.”

While this research demonstrates the power of appreciation on self-esteem, marriages, and engagement and productivity in the workplace, there are many other positive impacts from receiving genuine appreciation.  These include confidence building, feeling safe (which leads to a willingness to take on new challenges), and a genuine feeling of well-being.

Consider the benefits.  I encourage you to spread the power of appreciation.  Who will you appreciate today – your boss, coworker, partner, child, friend?  I predict that they’ll feel good hearing your message and you’ll feel good delivering it.

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